Thursday, October 28, 2010
An Old Riddle Unravelled (Moving forward from "The Meeting")
Within expectations, I didn't get to meet up with Dopey in Sydney this time. Dope is back in the game, career wise and as busy as a bee could be, wheeling and dealing multi-billion dollar deals within the financial markets. He has risen up the ranks and seems to need more than 24 hours a day.
For old friend's sake, I like to make it an annual affair to catch up when I am back in town. But even waiting up till 1am proved to be futile since his work schedule has a timely way of keeping up with me. Work stretched till nearly 3am and by 8.30am, he is back at work. Tough luck.
We did the texting to and fro thing.
I asked him what exactly was his position title now.
He told me sometimes it was this and sometimes that, depending on who he was dealing with.
Vague and nice as he liked it, he texted.
What is so nice about being vague, I asked. Have he ever thought if he weren't so vague about us, things could have taken a different turn? I continued.
I don't think of the could have beens. No point!
I agree with you and came to realise about my past experiences after Nepal and my nervous breakdown since the past is gone, future yet to come and the present is reality. But what I do think about is what could I have done better in those past experiences for now and apply it in current situations going forward:)
I know what you mean. Maybe we could have a crack at it again:P
So that started opening up a can of worms....
Of why things never came to fruition, relationship and carnal wise... first it took a more suggestive tone and then the messages got more serious.
*****
(To cut a long story short, I will quote his side of the story, giving you the gist. We were taking it back to the October Spring of 2005...)
Because the night you stayed over i was ready for you but i thought you didn't want to. Given I was inexperienced and on a break I didn't want to push it. But I didn't tell you I was on a break. Later I went back into my relationship at the time and I didnt want to cross that path again given the previous outcome. It has bugged me since.
What did he mean by that and what path was he talking about? I asked. I wanted him to elaborate since we were on the topic of our past.
That the stars were aligned but I didn't realise. That we were lovers that did everything but love. Its a travesty of my doing
Yup. It was sad. I wanted to be in love but U were ambivalent. I cldn't sleep with u that night cos I wanted the experience to last longer & not ended up as a one nite stand which is where it wd stop in my past experience. U were a uni sweetheart/crush of mine & so that nite turned out pleasantly surprising for me & I didn't want it to end. As for the rest with DL & I & where u & I wd end, I wanted to allow fate to take me...
I appreciate what ur saying. It wouldn't have been a one night thing. We're still in touch now after all as we have a genuine connection. I hope I didn't disappoint you. I wish I wasn't so thick. Sorry. And no, ur not a pity fuck!
Thanks. I reckon, no matter what, we'll always be frens. I recalled the next morn when u ask me wat u were & I said sthg like as status quo. I was faithless & didn't think u wd want anything serious going fwd plus I didn't know u on a break. So there. No clarity = no fate
Well I hope that helps you solve our old riddle. I think I needed to tell you
Oh good. I hate to leave stones unturned. Appreciate u telling me after all these years:)
Shutting the gate after the horse bolted...
Heheheheh
Clippity clop clippity clop clippity clop clippity clop
Hahahahhaahaa! Me back in Sad Town & on my way home. 2 meetings tonite. Ttyl
Within expectations, I didn't get to meet up with Dopey in Sydney this time. Dope is back in the game, career wise and as busy as a bee could be, wheeling and dealing multi-billion dollar deals within the financial markets. He has risen up the ranks and seems to need more than 24 hours a day.
For old friend's sake, I like to make it an annual affair to catch up when I am back in town. But even waiting up till 1am proved to be futile since his work schedule has a timely way of keeping up with me. Work stretched till nearly 3am and by 8.30am, he is back at work. Tough luck.
We did the texting to and fro thing.
I asked him what exactly was his position title now.
He told me sometimes it was this and sometimes that, depending on who he was dealing with.
Vague and nice as he liked it, he texted.
What is so nice about being vague, I asked. Have he ever thought if he weren't so vague about us, things could have taken a different turn? I continued.
I don't think of the could have beens. No point!
I agree with you and came to realise about my past experiences after Nepal and my nervous breakdown since the past is gone, future yet to come and the present is reality. But what I do think about is what could I have done better in those past experiences for now and apply it in current situations going forward:)
I know what you mean. Maybe we could have a crack at it again:P
So that started opening up a can of worms....
Of why things never came to fruition, relationship and carnal wise... first it took a more suggestive tone and then the messages got more serious.
*****
(To cut a long story short, I will quote his side of the story, giving you the gist. We were taking it back to the October Spring of 2005...)
Because the night you stayed over i was ready for you but i thought you didn't want to. Given I was inexperienced and on a break I didn't want to push it. But I didn't tell you I was on a break. Later I went back into my relationship at the time and I didnt want to cross that path again given the previous outcome. It has bugged me since.
What did he mean by that and what path was he talking about? I asked. I wanted him to elaborate since we were on the topic of our past.
That the stars were aligned but I didn't realise. That we were lovers that did everything but love. Its a travesty of my doing
Yup. It was sad. I wanted to be in love but U were ambivalent. I cldn't sleep with u that night cos I wanted the experience to last longer & not ended up as a one nite stand which is where it wd stop in my past experience. U were a uni sweetheart/crush of mine & so that nite turned out pleasantly surprising for me & I didn't want it to end. As for the rest with DL & I & where u & I wd end, I wanted to allow fate to take me...
I appreciate what ur saying. It wouldn't have been a one night thing. We're still in touch now after all as we have a genuine connection. I hope I didn't disappoint you. I wish I wasn't so thick. Sorry. And no, ur not a pity fuck!
Thanks. I reckon, no matter what, we'll always be frens. I recalled the next morn when u ask me wat u were & I said sthg like as status quo. I was faithless & didn't think u wd want anything serious going fwd plus I didn't know u on a break. So there. No clarity = no fate
Well I hope that helps you solve our old riddle. I think I needed to tell you
Oh good. I hate to leave stones unturned. Appreciate u telling me after all these years:)
Shutting the gate after the horse bolted...
Heheheheh
Clippity clop clippity clop clippity clop clippity clop
Hahahahhaahaa! Me back in Sad Town & on my way home. 2 meetings tonite. Ttyl
